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[15 Sep 2008|06:21am] |
Oh! I've been so reluctant to go out, I've put some of my old skills to use and was recently employed by the Ministry of Magic as their...only Unspeakable to investigate the Veil room and a few other rooms.
So strange, the brain room is no longer here and it's replace by a few other things.
I'm amazed.
I think Amycus moved out, I haven't seen nor heard from him in a very long time.
I hate feeling alone.
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[13 Aug 2008|05:52am] |
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I'm unbelievably frustrated now.
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[10 Aug 2008|04:41am] |
[private to self]
I'm not exactly sure how intelligent it was to take advantage of a situation for my own self gain that's only proving to be more destructive to my self-esteem and worth than anything. I had no intentions of complying with his need for drunken sexual intercourse, but that didn't stop me from asking him to hold me and allowing him to kiss me.
I should have fucking known better. Now I'm here, alone, upset and pissed off that I managed to only keep his attentions because of his lack of mental capacity, it makes me feel that I'm only worth acknowledging when he's beyond wasted and can't even see my face clearly anymore.
He left me this morning, I didn't even know about it.
I have a meeting to attend, I hope that it allows me to close myself off emotionally for a while.
[/Private]
Amycus, I'm leaving in a few minutes, I'll be there shortly.
I'm so frustrated with myself at the moment, it's ridiculous.
I'm getting honestly sick of all the unloyalty around here, especially from Bellatrix and Rodolphus. They are the most hypocritical bunch and I'm not afraid to say it.
Oh, Julian? I told you so.
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[09 Aug 2008|04:45am] |
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
GOODBYE COLD, CRUEL WORLD.
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[07 Aug 2008|02:43pm] |
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I cannot believe that my brother is actually here, being completely disgusting. I had to clean the carpet, the landlord came in and I was lucky to have not waited to clean it up. I really don't like the idea of him living with me, but he doesn't seem to have any place to go.
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[20 Jul 2008|08:11pm] |
You know, I never really had many people I could consider my friends. Most of them just never seemed to fit into my mould. I always felt like I had to prove that I was worth the attention, it doesn't bother me or anything, just something I pondered about.
All of us joined the ranks for different reasons, I joined because I genuinely wanted the glory. I wanted to be behind a powerful person and hold my head high. I don't know if I was ever considered in the Inner Circle or not, but I hoped that I could be. I was never killed, never went to jail and didn't die in the final battle.
It brings me to the subjects of choosing an side. Some do, some don't and some like to jump in-between. I believe that once you pick a side, you should stick to it. The only circumstance of which it's acceptable to change is if you lost the ability to trust in that side.
Not because of ridiculous excuses that sound like "I can't deal with it! I should have never!".
It's like...love. You can't give up on something just because you don't like where it's going.
This journal entry does not reflect anybody in particular, just a recent event that caused me to think on the situation, I suppose.
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[15 Jul 2008|02:40am] |
FINE. JUST IGNORE ME. YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS RABASTAN. Then again, how would you even know that you were affecting me if I never told you?
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[29 Jun 2008|05:03am] |
So, I've come back and found a place to live. I haven't ran into anyone else other than Bellatrix. Not that I like her. I heard about something in the paper that involves a ball of some sort?
Merlin, bleh. I would kill myself first before I even though of going. I wonder if any of my family members are here?
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